July 13, 2024

Nearly all the pieces I do in Remaining Fantasy VII Rebirth entails interacting with or speaking to Chadley. I’m not even achieved with Sq. Enix’s large RPG sequel but, and I’ve had sufficient. I’m achieved. Cease this Chadley-stravaganza, I need to get off.

Earlier than enjoying FF7 Rebirth--Sq. Enix’s second installment in its (most likely too lengthy) remake trilogy—I had some expectations. I figured I’d spend numerous time killing random monsters in massive open fields, I’d most likely do some odd sidequests, and there could be some in-universe card or board sport I’d have to take a look at. I’m not an enormous Remaining Fantasy individual, however I used to be ready and excited to play Rebirth after having fun with FF7 Remake a lot. Then I bumped into Chadley. And at first, I wasn’t too bothered by him.

In Remake, he was a nerdy, genetically altered dork who popped up right here and there and allow you to do some VR stuff. That was tremendous. Again in Remake, I didn’t thoughts the lad in any respect. He was only one extra quirky character in a sea of ‘em and provided some helpful Summons. I assumed he’d operate the identical on this new RPG sequel. Oh how naive and incorrect I used to be. In Rebirth, the Chadley valve has been turned all the best way to max after which fucking damaged off. The outcome: Chadley could be essentially the most outstanding character on this total sport.

FF7 Rebirth’s bigger open world is stuffed with Ubisoft-like checklists to finish. They’re “non-obligatory,” however they don’t all the time really feel that approach. In these areas, you’re tasked with doing numerous aspect actions, together with climbing towers, killing particular enemies, monitoring magic relics, and discovering hidden caves stuffed with particular crystals. And each one in every of these and plenty of different duties are thought of “World Intel” and tied into Chadley’s entire deal.

Maybe, you learn this and suppose: Nicely, that sounds annoying, however no less than you may keep away from Chadley whereas out doing his duties. No, pal. That’s incorrect. You see, very early on the little dork presents Cloud and the social gathering with a “CHAD Module.” It is a fancy cellphone that lets him name you all of the fucking time. Climb a tower. Chadley’s calling. Discover a cool glowing rock? Chadley’s right here to spoil your enjoyable. There are methods to mitigate how usually you need to hear him converse, however even that doesn’t change the truth that a lot of what you do on this sport exterior the principle storyline is linked to and achieved in service of Chadley.

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A screenshot of Chadley smiling in FF7 Rebirth.

Screenshot: Sq. Enix

Who the fuck is Chadley? No actually, I imply it, who is that this twerp? I had no thought. I by no means performed the unique FF7. So I used to be curious and seemed him up on-line. From what I can inform he’s a completely new character created for the remake trilogy. So, why the Hell is that this man given extra display time and dialogue than nearly every other NPC within the sport? It simply appears odd that the character they determined to place in command of all of the hours of aspect content material in Rebirth is a brand-new face and never somebody individuals like or care about. Hell, why not make these aspect missions and open-world actions tied into your numerous social gathering members or characters you meet in every new location? That sounds nice!

Think about an alternate model of Rebirth, the place every time you climb a tower Aerith or Barret or whoever would chat you up, serving to you study extra about their relationship and making you excited to do extra aspect stuff not simply since you’d get a pop of XP and a few rewards. However nope. We stay within the worst timeline. So as a substitute, it’s simply Chadley, child. Chadley, Chadley, fucking Chadley. Possibly there’s a Chadley fan base on the market that adores this child? Or maybe somebody at Sq. Enix is REALLY into Chadley and invested in making him a factor?

I don’t care. I’m simply making an attempt to have some enjoyable on this massive, fancy, open-world RPG. I don’t want a nerd and his AI woman pal (who can be annoying and who he treats like crap for some motive) calling me 24/7 as I experience Chocobos, choose up sticks, and struggle slime monsters. Go away me be Chadley. Please. Go away us on their lonesome.